Bodhi is six months old now and I often can't believe how quickly the time has flown, despite some nights dragging on for what at the time felt like forever. This last half a year of my life has offered me many insights and lessons that you can only gain through the gift of raising a child. There are many things I would like to share and hopefully will do over the coming weeks, but this post is here as a reminder to all the mothers out there that you are doing an excellent job, no matter what.
A good friend of mine freebirthed her baby girl almost 3 weeks ago and we spent some time catching up yesterday. We spoke about how disconnected we are as a society and how children these days are born and raised in isolated bubbles with no sense of community support. Through our Zen Mamas circle, we are beginning to make changes and create our own community network so we can return to a time where mothers and children are supported through birth, postpartum, education and beyond and are empowered to mother in a natural way.
In the meantime, through our own postpartum experiences, we are in a state of limbo, trying to understand what it means to be a mother without a huge amount of guidance to show us the way. One example of how this has manifested for me is through breastfeeding. I am exclusively breastfeeding Bodhi and wouldn't have it any other way, but I have struggled to make enough milk for a few months now until recently. It's only when my own mother came to visit and fed me with huge amounts of homemade stew that my milk supply shot straight back up and I realised that the key to milk production is in nourishing myself as consciously as I do Bodhi.
In a community oriented world where groups of mothers of all ages supported each other, this is the kind of wisdom that would be shared freely without having to muddle through sub optimally. Likewise, when my friend struggled with the pain of feeding in her first few days postpartum, I was able to offer suggestions that helped me because we have created this nurturing relationship through our Zen Mamas circle where we support each other.
Nonetheless, an experience we have both encountered is other peoples willingness and readiness to judge. As is the nature with running a business like Zen Jungle, we are very familiar with judgement and the way it grips people. Our purpose here is to enlighten people to see their own judgements and how they create limitation, and show them a path out of it, one which leads to a life of happiness and fulfilment.
Most of the time, we are pretty good at disregarding judgement, understanding it is not a reflection of the true being, simply their lifetime of conditioning. But it comes thick and fast when you're a parent, with everyone casting their opinion on how you should raise and care for your own child, even if they have never had one themselves.
It's easy to take these judgements on board when you're sore from the experience of birth and still healing, exhausted from countless nights of broken sleep and somewhat disoriented from the shock of having to care for another being 24/7, with little break for even the simple things like having a shower, cleaning your teeth or doing the washing.
So here is your precious reminder that your instinct as a mother is the only thing you need. Everyone will have an opinion on your parenting, but there is a reason that your child chose you as their mummy. You are connected in a way that nobody else on this planet could ever truly comprehend, because you are the one that brought this life earthside. You are the one who knows how to care for them, love them and keep them safe. You know what is right for your baby and how to guide them and show them the way. You are the only authority you need to look towards.
And if you ever feel yourself wobbling and crave the support of people who get it, Zen Mamas cirlce is here for you. At any stage of your mothering journey. We are a group of mothers who understand that there is no right or wrong way, but that the support we can offer each other with a listening ear and a loving hug is priceless.
Our next cirlce is 25th April, 10.30am, where we will be hosting a specialist in reflexology and holistic health. Sandra will be talking to us about how we can help and support our children and ourselves using natural methods, as well as providing advice on nutrition for children and breastfeeding mothers.
If you want to join us, you can book your space here (members get 20% off): https://www.zenjungle.org/event-details/motherhood-circle-reflexology-2024-04-25-10-30
