I wanted to share some thoughts and experiences on raising a peaceful and happy child, as I've often been asked how my child seems so calm and content. While every child is different, there are a few principles that have greatly contributed to cultivating a serene and joyful atmosphere in our home.
Respecting Individual Experience
First and foremost, I see Bodhi as her own being, not an extension of myself. While I guide her in her early years, I recognise that she has her own life path. This understanding has been foundational in our relationship, allowing me to respect her autonomy and individual experience..
Letting Go of Expectations
One of the most liberating things I've embraced is letting go of expectations. It’s okay if she cries, it’s okay if she doesn’t. It’s okay if she eats a food, it’s okay if she spits it out. We often meditate together, and sometimes she's quiet and still, other times active and vocal. Both are perfectly fine. I meet her where she is with loving acceptance, rather than trying to mold her responses.
Minimising Judgement
In our daily interactions, I aim to minimize drama and avoid encouraging judgment. When she cries, I hold her without trying to stop it. If she rejects food, I simply put it aside and try again another day. This approach helps her learn that she doesn’t need to judge the world; she can welcome all experiences equally.
Leading by Example
I allow her to see me get things wrong, make mistakes, and be vulnerable. I also show her how I overcome these things. She learns not through what I tell her, but through what she witnesses from me.
Finding Joy in Everyday Moments
I find joy in everything she does. It delights me when she chats, plays, and explores. I get interested in the things she finds interesting, and I share with her the things I find magical, like the smell of freshly cut grass or beautiful flowers during walks.
Avoiding Over-stimulation
I don’t overstimulate her. Her joy is her responsibility. I will play, explore, and cuddle with her, but I don’t give her screens, take her to soft play, or overload her with toys. I allow her to find interest in her everyday reality, which keeps her content and happy.
Embracing the Journey Together
Most importantly, I don’t put pressure on myself. I carry on with life as normal and allow her to join in. It might take longer, but I enjoy the fact we can have these experiences together. I focus on experiencing life together and leading by example, not by instruction.
Parenting is a journey, and every child is different. By creating a peaceful environment and focusing on inner peace and authenticity, we can build a nurturing space for our children to grow and thrive. If you have any thoughts or experiences on raising peaceful, free, and independent children, I would love to hear them. Please feel free to leave your comments below.
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